


1300-Mr-President

by FloralEyeBalls



Series: Dumb AU's [1]
Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: Aliens, Declarations of Like, Hallucinations, Kissing while turnt af, M/M, Petes like 21, Pot hallucinations??, Recreational Drug Use, bc I didn't think LSD suited the story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 08:21:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3685035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FloralEyeBalls/pseuds/FloralEyeBalls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We got really high together and you swear you saw an alien and I didn't see it but I'm now backing you up while you attempt to call Obama" AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1300-Mr-President

**Author's Note:**

> This is dumb and I'm sorry, but hey, look at me posting regularly like a fictional human being!

"Duuudddee" Pete whispers on an exhale of smoke from the small bong in his hand, "what the fuck are you staring at?" 

"You mean, you can't see it?" Patrick replies, also whispering, still staring intently at Petes cheap ikea wardrobe at the other end of his small bedroom. 

"I can see a lot of rank underwear?", Pete spoke louder now, realising that this is his apartment and he'll make noise if he wants to, but apparently Patrick has other ideas.

"Shhhh!" Patrick whisper-screams frantically, "it'll see us!" 

"What the fuck man, what's happening?!" 

Patrick lets out a breath and visibly relaxes, "it's gone now, we're okay" 

"Why we're we not okay?", Pete feels way too stressed for someone literally smoking pot right now. 

"The alien, you seriously didn't see it?" Patrick asks, disbelief clearly accident in his voice 

"What?! There was an alien in my room?" Pete feels betrayed, "how did I miss it?" 

"I don't know man, but it was amazing! We have to call Obama or something, you know, alert the government" Patrick whispers the last part then scans around the room quickly, "it could be here for our secrets" 

"But what if he's a friendly alien and he just came here to try fruit loops or something? Then we like rat him out and they take him to Area 51 and we're responsible for tearing his little alien family apart?", Pete starts to get a little hysteric at the end 

"I don't think aliens conform to our gender standards Pete, call it it not him." Patrick says in very serious tone, "And I like to think Obama is a pretty chill dude, maybe he will just introduce himself and give the alien a tour around the White House or something?"

"Shouldn't we call the alien Them? "It" sounds a little objectifying. Ya know? Because they're a living thing, not an it" 

"Oh yeah, you're right. Sorry Alien" Patrick apologises, "But I think they'll be okay with us calling Obama, I mean, Obama deserves to know" 

"Yeah true. Okay, let's call Obama" Pete decides 

"Do you know his number?"

"I thought we were calling the alien them not him?" 

"No, I was talking about Obama"

"Doesn't Obama fit the gender binary?" Pete asks. 

"What?" Patrick tried to catch up with the conversation

"What?...Can we just call Obama already?" 

"Yeah...ah okay. Do you think he has a 300 number? Like 1300-Mr-President? Or something?" Patrick questions seriously.

Pete giggles, loud and obnoxious, "sounds dirty" 

"Shut up" Patrick giggles too, "what do I even say to him? What if he doesn't believe me?"

"It's okay, I'll back you up", Pete says, emphasising his heartfelt offer with a gentle hand resting on Patricks thigh,"he has to believe you if you have a witness" 

"You would lie to Obama...for me?" Patrick whispers, sounding a little choked up, "I think that's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me"

"Yeah well...I really like you Patrick" Pete says as he leans in slowly, hesitantly, and presses his mouth against Patrick's softly before pulling back. It's probably the most innocent kiss Pete's ever given in his life. 

"I really like you too, Pete" Patrick whispers, before leaning in to give Pete a much less innocent kiss.

The idea of calling Obama lets lost in the wet slide of tongues and the noises Patrick doesn't bother to hold back when he's this high and has Pete Wentz under his thighs.


End file.
